Oh. My. God.
What more can possibly go wrong with this production of Oliver? Every conceivable problem has arisen. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
1. We were kicked out of our performance and rehearsal space (the Dubois Center) because of some debate about the direction they wanted to take, costing us two weeks of lost rehearsals.
2. We lost 50% of out cast those two weeks we were stagnant, so we had to scrounge talent so local, we sleep in the same house (but not really).
3. Queen Taifa and Ron, our accompanist, don't get along at all. By no stretch of the imagination could they ever exchange remarks other than the most tepid.
4. Our Oliver is slightly tone-deaf, and cannot read music to save his life. (Actually, Taifa and Ron aren't too hot on that front either).
5. Our Dodger just quit, with FIVE FREAKING DAYS TO GO BEFORE OPENING NIGHT, so we now have someone else, who is very good, and picking up the blocking very fast, and actually taking the part seriously, but still.
6. Everyone has colds. EV-ER-Y ONE.
7. Okay, who has their lines memorized? Just the teens? No adults except the narrator? Really? Would you like to sign your own death warrant? What time do you want the press to hang you?
But oh, god, it's fun.
I still haven't written about the harem massage incident, have I?
Former Dodger walked in about a million hours late last Saturday, and when we asked him why, the only coherent things he could manage were "party" "tired" and "one bleeping hour of bleeping sleep".
So we dragged him out and all the girls (orphans and Fagin's gang kids, too) and gave him a backrub for forty-five minutes straight.
I swear, the boy has no qualms whatsoever about a tribe of underage girls handing him paradise on a linoleum floor for that long.
And then he didn't come back, and we were all heartsick. Except for me, of course, I have learned (not from personal experience, mind you) that it never works out to date a guy you're working with. Especially if you're an actress, I mean, how can you flirt meaninglessly on stage then?
So that's pretty much it for now...