We are re-tiling our kitchen counters.

Well, maybe not re-tiling. Re-tiling implies that they have been tiled before. These counters have always been mind-numbingly dull and extremely uninspiring and VERY VERY BEIGE Formica (with Colonial Blue floral-patterned tile back splash).

But now their Reign of Mass Revulsion is at an end. Soon we shall have relief!

We are 'forcefully re-clothing' our counters.

Forcefully.

With force.

And lots of screwdrivers.

The End of The Evil, Deranged, Troublesome, Very, Very Adolescent Remote

...And why? Because we now have a New Remote.

You may laugh, but this is very exciting to me. After two years of batteries falling out, buttons not working, and general remote-related aggravation, we now have a New Remote.

I have been having a really good time lately, for no real reason at all, except that I am happy, and being happy usually makes me look happy (I can't help it), and looking happy usually makes me feel happy, et cetera.

The only mar in this circle of continuous happiness is that...(deep breath) ...My tall, skinny, Wonder-bread white brother has...(deep breath)...received seven stitches...(deep breath)...for a split chin...(deep breath)...that he got while he was break dancing.
(Falls about laughing uncontrollably).

And in case anyone accuses me of being callous, I would like to point out that my stitches were far greater in number, and the lacerations themselves were inflicted under slightly less ridiculous circumstances.

On the upside, I might persuade him to take up a less dangerous hobby. Like bungee-jumping.

List of Exasperating, Exhilarating, and Just Plain Weird Things That are Happening in My Life Right Now, in No Order Whatsoever, as told by Myself:

1. Was turned down for a job at the Library because of my infernally fabulous choir.
I will admit that the library is not the most exciting place to work, and the salary is all of six bucks an hour, but hey. My first job. It was important to me.

2. I found out that Geisha girls' formal makeup used to be a lead-based mask, but they switched to rice powder after skin and back problems. I thought that was extremely cool. And I must now get some rice powder.

3. I dyed my hair blue. It was rather nice for the first day or so, and then it started fading out, and now it is greenish at the ends. (I sort of thought it looked like Peacock feathers, but I have also heard that it is reminiscent of Ducks and Black Australorpe chickens. Maybe I am just vain.)

4. Mum has started cooking with coconut flour. It is very odd to be eating something white at our house. Normaly, anything that isn't soaked or sprouted or fermented (unless its meat or leafy green veggies, grown by folks two hours away, maximum), isn't eaten at home. White things are barred.