We are to undertake a journey. A journey that, while previously explored, is never the less relatively uncertain.
A journey to the state where it is perpetually Very Cold, where the snow comes down grey and yellow all over, and nobody drinks the water for fear of minute radiation poisoning.

'And where is this paradise?' you ask.
'Why, here in our very country!' I answer you.

It is that turnpike-riddled, round-about crazy, sub-urbianite laden, less glamorous counterpart of New York of which I speak.

Yes, the ever garden-y New Jersey.

I can practically see the glow-in-the-dark snow from here.